Iraq effects at home

My mother, Ryan's 82 year-old grandmother, is in the Veteran's Administration hospital in Minneapolis. She is recovering from a collapsed lung. She hates the war, I think she hates Bush more. So this memory is maddening to her as well as haunting.

Each morning she rides the elevator down to x-ray to get another picture of her lungs for her dedicated physicians. Yesterday, she and her volunteer chauffeur headed downstairs in an elevator along with a young man in a wheelchair. As the doors shut, the man suddenly blocks his face with his arms and exclaims, "I have to get out of here, there are too many Iraqis on this elevator!" There was just him, my 88-pound mama and her good Samaritan. She couldn't stop telling me the story all day.

It makes me want to volunteer to sooth these young vets from their terrible post traumatic shock. But how can that be done? Reminding him what day it is and where he is and that he is safe now. Am I naive? I'm volunteering to help a vet, now, I suppose, in being with my mother each day in the hospital. There are wonderful, caring medical staff and dozens of volunteers at our local VA. Each one feels the way my mother does, seeing the hurt of this young, young man. Not only because of the lack of his legs, but his lack of ever feeling safe again.

I think we have a right to protect America, but are we doing everything to protect Americans??

Ryan's camera

Today Ryan sent home pictures from Iraq. Here is Ryan in his uniform.

Feb. 22 & 23, 2007

2-22-07
Hi,

I knew that she would be a trooper my grandmother is stronger than even she knows. I know that she will be bouncing around before you know it.

Here, it is the same stuff most days, sleep eat work gym sleep eat work gym. the time is going by pretty fast. I found out a tenetive leave date already, aint it great to know people? yea it is. I am not going to send dates and times over the email but know that there are no suprises. I have started to play chess again every now and again. not nearly where i was when I was semi pro but I do still win when i play. I miss you alot and cant wait to see you this summer.

Ryan

2-23-07

hey,

I am glad to hear that Grandma is doing better. I sent some flowers for her, they should be at your place soon. also the pictures are on the way. I miss you and love you.

Ryan

His mom wrote back: Dear Ryan,
Mom loved the flowers you sent. They are blooming spectacularly. They are this lucious red, like a 1930s red. six petaled lillies with a couple sprigs of red berries and a background of golden rod. I brought them in her hospital room and set them on her tray. She looked pleased. And when I announced that the flowers were from you she got a look of wonder on her face and asked,
How'd he get them out of Iraq?
She recovered nicely when I said you ordered them off the internet. She really loves them and told me to email you and tell you so.
She said don't raise your hand and volunteer anymore, but come home and see us real soon. She was really moved that you thought of her. She has a special place in her heart for you.
Her second tube in her lung doesn't seem as good as the first and she is working hard to breath and keep her oxygen level up, but maybe its because it is the second hole and the first isn't healed yet. This is hard; seeing her disappointed, working hard to eat or talk. She was so determined to get out and fly to Mexico with Marianna, Frank and the boys, but the doc says no way.
She told me to tell you to quit smoking now. Gasping for breath is a bad way to go.
Must sound mundane, smoking side effects, to you who is in war where co-workers are outside getting blasted. I'm sorry. Just come home.
You know your job; stay in embodiement. You have people to comfort and supervise and train. You have a long life ahead of you. I love you, Ryan. Thanks for making your grandma, and my mama, so happy today.

Book choices

[Grandma] had better get better! I plan on taking her to the casino when I get home. You let them know that. My strep is better but I am keeping up with my amoxisilian three times a day for ten days. I was running a low grade fever 100 degrees and yesterday I threw up. I eat yogurt with every meal though for two days that I all I could keep down. I would only keep quarters for one day and am pretty bouncy out on post. I am ordering a couple of books right now; "the moon is a harsh mistress", some Kafka and " Confessions of an Economic Hitman" they are all pretty quick reads except for the Kafka of which I enjoy the stories.
It at times feels like a punishment detail. the hours are long but I am used to them now so that is not a big deal and most of the people that i am working with are alright. ... it is only going to be a couple of more months. ...
I love you all and i miss you greatly. I will be home in late june through early July. I cant wait to see you.
Ryan

Daily routine

Gordon sent some Pearl Harbor pics out and Ryan had this reply:

these are great photos. they should be put in an archive some where.

I am here in Balad grinding it out, it has not been too eventful the last few days and boring is better than action. I am in a pretty good gym routine and am taking my CLEP tests but i don't have time for much else. I am working 15 hour days it is twelve hours of standing around and an hour on either side arming up or down. i think that I might feel that I am missing some thing when I get back as I am only without my weapon while I sleep.

The weather is turning around so I do not have to wear a coat in the mornings now. I have lost over ten pounds since I touched down twenty days ago. We all have head colds I believe that it is from the dust.
I will speak to you soon.
Ryan from Iraq

He sent a general email out saying:

Calling to say that I love you, Life is ok here. I will be back soon. kicking butt at spades.

"Big Problem"

Hey,
Work is going well, I have been doing overwatch at the vehicle check-in site here at the LVIS (elvis).

It is pretty cold out side i am wearing three shirts gloves and a bennie hat. the sun has finally comeout. yesterday is rained in the morning and there was so much dust inthe air that the rain came down brown. you get so dirty so fast, it is crazy. it looks like we are going to be stuck with ten folks in a room for a while. that is pretty sucky but so it goes. you cant go to Iraq and then complain about the living conditions.

There is a funny storyabout the FNs as they are not so bright. A guy comes up to us holdingup his finger and says "Big Problem" we look at his finger and he has swerls on the tip of his finger. what happened we ask. and again he says, "big problem."
As it turns out, he lit up the car lighter and then pressed his finger against it. yes, i would call that a big problem.
will be in touch
Ryan

Jan. 28. 2007

Hi
Life is pretty smooth, we are still waiting for the group that we are replacing to leave so our rooms are full o0f people. I have 10 guys in my room. but that should be down to five or six in a little bit. it is really cold in the mornings and warms up to about 50 in the afternoons.

I have a feeling that time will go by pretty fast. the thing that is the hardest is that there is no alone time here. there are always people around. computer are hard to come by and we only get two fifteen minute phone calls a week so I have not been able to be in touch like I would like to be. the base is very safe and we are not able to leave it. that is a good thing because out side the wire is where people get hurt. we are in the heart of the most contested piece of land on the planet. and it really is hard to forget. I have my m-16 with me all the time.

I am working on getting a camel spider for Gairm but they dont come out for another month or so and they are not as big here as they are farther south. only about as large as a dinner plate. I miss you all very much and think of you often.

my job here is to moniter the locals who come on base as contractors as they do not recive security checks. so it is me and my partner who maintain base security. it is a pretty easy gig. right now i am watching over a crew of turks and thier Indian supervisor. the turks do not speak english but the indian does. they are just trying to work for a pay check. yesterday they let their generator run out of fuel and and as it is a diesel so i am waiting for maintanance guy to come out to fix it. as it is not military property we cant touch it.

I will try to get back to you in a couple of days.
I love you and miss you all. send this to grandma as well.

Day Two in the Desert

Day two in the desert. I slept like an angel. There are thirty bed to a tent in billeting and there is always some one coming in and out, after a while though you do adjust to the commotion. I do have a will located at Kadena in a readily accessible place. I have you as by beneficiary. you will get all the choices. but i will be buried at fort snelling with full military honors. it is still cold here but at least the sun is out. one of the guys has a cracked copy of photoshop so when i get to the actual place that i will be i can send home pictures. there is a photo lab here so what i will do is print out the photo and mail them home. the e-mail way just takes too long. the camera is working great I have been snapping shots like a tourist. if i can catch a camel spider i will send it to Gairm but most likly it will be a no go. it would be pretty cool though, huh? I feel pretty congested though it is probably due to the change in the air. This too shall pass. feel better mother.
Ryan
PS yes spread the mail to every one.

Day One: Transient in the Middle East

This is the first email from Ryan to his mom after he arrived in the Middle East:

That is a bummer about the pictures but the soup is going to help you feel better. I love you all and miss you tremendously. I am transient in the middle east for today but the next leg of the journy begins tomorrow. every were I look the color is tan the sky, ground building even the clothes that people are wearing every thing is tan. A group of us played spades a little while ago in the moral tent. my team lost but i was able to jump us up two hundred points by going nil. it was fun any way. we are going to play some poker in a little bit and the movine is "night in a musium" that starts at ten thirty tonight. the weather is really chilly we can see our breath. and when it is not sprinkling it is windy enugh to blow the dust in your mouth. it may sound like a misirable time but it is not. on every corner there is palet of water so you can not go thirsty. I will write again when I get to my destination.


This was my previous email to him:

Dear Ryan,
I've been thinking of you all day. You may have been able to look around base a little. Feel the air, anyway. Another climate change.
We love you. I love you. Vic loves you. Grink loves you.
Vic is making soup with the Christmas Turkey bones that he froze last month. He's planning on adding lots of root vegies. It will be another Froehlich creation.
Gordy had the first year of the new Dr. Who. He left it for Vic and I to watch. I miss it! I'm so sad they changed the doctor.
Gairm is grounded till he gets Cs. He's cheerful and sweet, and reading Terry Pratchet adn quoting him till we all go crazy. Mom and I are signed up for another painting class.\nI probab,ly told you half of this stuff and forgot. Did I tell you I wiped 4000 pictures off my computer by accident! And I use them in my web site etc so its a big drag.
Love you, Mom